An Exploration of Race as a Person of Colour in Cornwall, and Call to Action for White Allies.

Today I ran my fastest ever mile. This was not because I am an athlete. Today I ran my fastest ever mile because today I have spent another day confronting my identity. Another day feeling anxiety every time I look at my phone and see black squares, 

hashtags and photos and videos of victims. 

Who am I in this sufferance? Do I side with the victims or do I fall into the category of the privileged? What is the first thing you noticed about me when I walked into the room?

I’m diluted, more acceptable, ambiguous. My natural skin you tell me is “a nice tan”. My hair is like yours without heat or chemicals. But you still ask me “where are you from?”. You call me “black Chloë”, “darky” because it suits your image of me, but you know nothing of my heritage, think nothing of how I don’t have the same reductive terms for you. 

You didn’t feel the intense heat raise through your body when the subject of race came up in your all-white classroom. You haven’t walked home, tried to sleep on a mind full of abuse from a complete stranger based on nothing but what they see in front of them. I’ve spent years flaunting my achievements to old white men, a feeling of needing to prove myself to my racial and patriarchal superiors ingrained so deeply that it disgusts me. You have never had to explain the reasoning behind affirmative action/diversity hires whilst wondering if that person thinks you’ve been given a free ride. 

 

You have never tried to express these feelings to kind friends who will never share your experience. 

 

I don’t know where my place is in this struggle but I know that I carry the same cultural burden. I’ve been crying for years. Begged my brother to discard an open bottle of beer when walking through the streets of New York. Sometimes people question why I don’t open my life to those with views that oppose mine but that is because some of those views question mine and my family’s humanity. 

 

Thank you all for finally paying attention. But this has been happening for years. Please, educate yourself, read books, blogs, watch videos and films. Follow voices for social justice, and believe what they say. The truth is so thinly veiled that you don’t even have to invest too much time to understand the systems of power that decimated, oppressed and continue to control black people and people of colour as a whole. Don’t forget about this next week because those that profit from oppression will not forget. Keep talking to one another, amplify the voices of those who can not themselves, and call out racism when you witness it. 

 

Love from Chloë.